Oh No, Heaven!

I had an epiphany today on the way to work. Epiphanies are great aren't they? Suddenly your eyes are opened to a whole new perspective and your perception of of a person, place, or concept is totally turned around. In a spiritual sense, epiphanies are revelation: Realizations of greater truth through the influence of the Holy Ghost. A difference though is that revelation is more of us remembering something that was long ago forgotten, rather than figuring something out for the first time.

So which one did I experience today? I suppose that it's six in one & a half dozen in the other, because all that's important is what I thought, and not how it should be defined. In fact, the only time I see the definitions of instances like this mattering at all would be when one chooses to deny God's hand in something & supposes that all was accomplished in their own strength.

To better understand my new found perspective, I suppose that I should fill you in on how I had previously felt about heaven. Yes it its a place where we'll have knowledge, eternal families, and live in the presence of God & Jesus. That's all great, and it's al stuff we learn before ever choosing to be baptized, it was the next round of details that had me concerned.

I remember as clearly as anything the disappointment I felt as a new member of the Church after having a discussion with Gerry Webster (my bishop at the time) about eternal progression. The very 'Mormon' concept that there is still learning, growth, and much to do in the Celestial Kingdom. Work!? Are you kidding me? Whatever happened to sitting pool side, sipping on a Mai Tai? Oh no way, I didn't want to keep working forever, especially after working this whole life. Would there at least be Summer Vacation?

My position on the matter softened after coming more to a realization of what that work entails, and I was softened even more later on by the love I have for my wife and son. Still though…work?

So here we are, on the ride to work this afternoon I'm having a discussion with a slightly unsavoury coworker, who is having a remote starter installed in his work truck. It wasn't so much a proclamation of joy on his part as it was a declaration of his hatred for getting up extra early on -40 degree mornings to go out and start the vehicle. We all hate that. I hate that. Then something funny happened.

In a very short instant I felt all the distain I have towards those negative aspects of every job I've ever had. That's when I realized that my eternal labours won't have any of those things. No 4am alarm clocks. No unfair treatment or long periods away from home. No frozen extremities or sore bones. No breakneck schedules or angry customers. Not even any forearm burns from the doughnut frier! (I used to be a baker). Yes we'll be working in a sense, but not by the sweat of our brows, and even more importantly the work will be doing will be what we love.

It's now a commonly held belief that a key to happiness in life is having a job you love. So since I'm going to love what will be keeping me busy, I'm going to be as happy as a clam forever. Come to think of it, not doing anything gets really boring really fast. Sitting poolside for eternity with a fruity drink in your hand and nothing to do would be maddening, and weirdly now seems like a better picture of Hell than Heaven.

So buck up, we've got work to do & it's going to be fantastic.

What's Apropriate

One of my very biggest fears is to be called a racist, especially in front of someone of a different ethnicity. The title of racist brings so many negative connotations along with it, like hatred & idiocy. The worst part is that once someone puts a label like that on you, it can't really be disproven. Being tolerant and loving is great, but that doesn't yield the immediate results & relief I'd be looking for. That's why it's such a scary prospect to me. I felt the need to mention this because of how it closely parallels with another big fear of mine, being labelled an Ogre.

My relationship with my wife is a far cry from "I wear the pants". If anything I struggle with just getting her to listen to me when her mind is made up. I am however charged with being our family's priesthood holder, and I find that to be a really undesirable thing when I need to mention some element of correction for righteousness' sake. I'm put in the position of being a partner with someone, but also given a stewardship over them to make sure that as a family we are striving to live up to God's commandments as we have been given them. Being labeled an Ogre then would imply that I am not only unkind, but also exercising unrighteous dominion for my own selfish purposes.

My wife & I are going to Jamaica next week to see her sister get married. In the months leading up to now she has lost an extraordinary amount of weight, and subsequently looks the best she ever has. This fact has cultivated a desire in her to purchase dresses & outfits she never would have before dared to. The problem now is garments.

"Garments", if you're not familiar with the term, are like undershirts for Mormons. It's something that most members choose to wear as an outward reminder of an inward commitment to follow God. It also serves the purpose of maintaining the Church's standard of modesty in how we dress. Those who wear garments have committed to God that they will always wear them, with the exceptions of when it just isn't possible, like bathing, swimming, or those "special times" between a man & his wife.

So now my wife wants to wear outfits that would prohibit her from following this commandment that she has promised to live. I can't say no, because then she would have lost her freedom to choose on the matter & most likely carry some resentment towards me. I'm forced to take on the "Priesthood Holder" role instead & try my best to encourage her to make the right decision. She wasn't happy. I encouraged her to pray about it & she flat out refused because "there's no way that Heavenly Father would give [her] the go ahead on that." I did a pretty good job during the conversation, with the exception of one phrase that came back to haunt me the next day.

"as the Patriarch of our family…" was what was repeated to all of the sweet sisters in our ward the following morning at church. I sat there, surrounded, taking stares from women that seemed like they caught me trying to chain poor Kellie to the stove. So there I was, stuck right in the middle of one of my biggest fears. I could tell them that I wasn't a jerk, but denying the accusation is hardly compelling enough to win anyone over, so I ran away. Now everyone thinks I'm an oppressor, but isn't that actually a little ridiculous? If I was being selfish, wouldn't I want my wife to dress like that? Lets face facts here, this is the best she's ever looked, so one would think I would relish the opportunity to have her flaunt a little more.

My real desires on the matter are that my wife do what she should for her sake, as well as being a good example to her family. Her sister is also a member of the church, but hasn't come in quite some time. I would be afraid that seeing Kellie dressed in a less modest fashion might encourage the notion that she isn't missing out on quite so much by not being more active in the gospel.

What makes this a story worth telling is how it has turned today. It is now the next week, Saturday. I am away at work, and Kellie is listening to General Conference. I had moved on from the matter and hadn't mentioned it again, but I suppose that she hadn't. I received a message from her earlier saying that the first talk she heard was about "remembering the covenants we have made." She then professed a strong manifestation of the Holy Spirit, and consented that she in fact would not dress inappropriately on our trip.

I find it hard to speak up a lot of the time for fear that my good intentions may not be picked up on. In the message she sent to me today, she said that I "won." She was joking, but all the same that really isn't what I was setting out to do. I just said what I thought the Lord would have wanted me to. Kellie has now made a choice to do what she should, and I couldn't be more happy about it or love her any more than I do right now. Of course, it doesn't hurt that looks so fantastic.